"When you know for sure that you have done all that you can do, be secure in yourself and move forward with your life. Your children are more resilient than you think. I would also encourage mothers to stand strong alone when you must and together when you have support. Children should not bear witness to all of our tears." - Krishtine Ross
I am so honored to bring this next installment of the Golden Handcuff Project to you. As you know I work with thousands of moms and children around the world. Each person moves me, it is never redundant or a matter of going through the motions. I come to love and care about each person that reaches out to me and my staff. To say: "around the world" is a huge statement, however it is completely true. There are countries I've come to wistfully dream of as I open communications with people in places I've never been. I'm proud to say MotivatingOtherMothers.com is changing lives in over 40 countries. While I absolutely love the global conversation, my company delivers boots-on-the-ground help to hundreds of mothers, parents, and their children each day in Southern California. I recently had the honor of being there for a woman I've always admired and loved tremendously. She is a good friend, a beacon of light, and a manifestation of everything thats right in the world. My loving friend was separating from her husband. She is an incredible mother to two girls and it is my honor to walk this leg of her journey with her. Special thanks to thebabyspot.ca. I treasure my partnership with this magazine and I support everything this magazine, embodying innovation and integrity, represents. To Krish ... I love you. Thank you for letting me in, trusting me, and letting me help. This is a wonderful beginning for you and for your daughters. I am proud of you and excited to change lives together around the world. S
Enjoy and send us your feedback. If you'd like to know more about my "7 Steps To Unlock Your Golden Handcuffs" send us an email and share your story. We are here to help and to join you on your journey. We are #StrongerTogether
Love and warm wishes,
Posted By thebabyspot.ca on Jan 16, 2015
Two weeks ago, thebabyspot.ca posted 7 Steps ToUnchain Your Golden Handcuffs by Mom and Motivational Influencer Alexsandra Wright.
We are excited to say that one Mother, Motivational Speaker, Krishtine Ross, took this advice and is thriving! She has been kind enough to share her story.
Krishtine was going through a separation with her husband of thirteen years. It was hard for everyone involved and many changes were happening what seemed to be all at once.
Krishtine emphasizes that for a Mother going through a lot of stress, the safest place to be is “in the middle of a leap of faith.”
One day, her coworker who was also a pastor walked through her office. He turned to her before leaving and said, “The safest place to be is in the middle of a leap of faith”. These words resonated with Krishtine for the entire day. She felt that her faith was strong and never in her life had stepped out.
Krishtine knew her faith was strong but she knew that, especially during this separation, it could use some strengthening. She was a Mom and had to make a new life for herself and her children. She got up from her desk, went into the restroom and surrendered. As a Christian, she asked for God to steer her and asked Him to move her feet and lead her on a new path for her life. It was raw, vulnerable and a life changing moment.
Sometimes, reaching is not about reaching up, but reaching out. Krishtine did just that. She was overwhelmed that the very next weekend, her and her children were moving out of their family home. This could be a hard moment for any parent, but Krishtine was in awe of all of the help she had received from people she claims she had no idea would care. She felt vulnerable, but she stayed quiet, humble and moved slowly, being thankful for every little moment in her journey.
There were struggles. There were hard times. But Krishtine was strong. Our favorite part of this story, she became so strong that her children felt STABLE with her decisions and the big changes that were happening in her life. Krishtine describes this transition within her family as “miraculous.”
Krishtine was overwhelmed by the kindness of friends, family and acquaintances. She was given kind words, a mattress, dishes etc. for her new home. But the greatest gift was to come. Krishtine decided to write down every person’s name who helped her, so one day, she can do something nice for them. She decided for each person who helped her, she would PAY IT FORWARD to another who is in need. Her desire was to become as selfless as possible and unite hands and hearts across the globe to strengthen others experiencing the same things that she has.
With that being said, we want to welcome Krishtine Ross as a Motivational Speaker for Moms, who will contribute to thebabyspot.ca and has given some great advice to Moms everywhere.
How can Mothers stay humble?
There are many experiences that I can share as to what has kept me humble as a mother and how other mothers can stay humble. Hearing the words “Mommy” as our children affectionately call us is very humbling. The voice is endearing, it’s sincere, and it’s expecting a certain accountability. Its honesty, protection and trust. It is security, patience, nurturing and love.
Having a child is a blessing and an opportunity. When I hear the word “Mommy”, it is not only heard but processed and internalized. At that point it becomes humbling. It would be wonderful if my girls knew how many times I take an internal bow every time they call me “Mommy”.
I encourage Mothers everywhere reading this to listen with your “Mommy” ears and allow our children to help in keeping us humble daily.
Any thoughts or insight how a busy Mother can stay grateful and focused?
I believe that mothers can stay grateful and focused by not placing so much on themselves in one day. As mothers, we tend to have a desire to “take care of it all” which allows us to wear many hats. We become the nutritionist, the chauffeur, the hairstylist, the housekeeper, the janitor at times, we have laundry, etc. once I realized that EVERYTHING CAN NOT BE DONE IN ONE DAY, I became focused and I actually had time to pay attention to what was really going on around me ( Hence: I became grateful).
The main objective is to either delegate tasks to your spouse or your children if they are old enough. Everyone should help to some extent. I believe it’s important to select days of the week to complete certain tasks and give yourself a time framed to complete the task. This way there is room to focus and no one becomes overwhelmed. For instance, my laundry was complete on Thursday’s.
Once a busy mother organizes her life and her time, there becomes more than enough room to focus and become grateful for what is.
How did your children adjust after your life change? Any advice for Mothers going through something similar?
My girls adjusted very well when we moved out of one home and into our new home. It’s is important to me that I address it this way because this is what worked for us.
I believe the reason why my girls adjusted so well is because my ex-husband and I were actually sleeping in separate rooms for five years before we actually moved out so they saw and felt then separation before it ever took place. I did this because I wanted my children to have both of their parents under the same roof for as long as they possibly could as dysfunctional as it may sound. At one point, my oldest daughter even told me that she notice her father and I getting along better since being in our own space.
As they days approached that we would downsize from a four bedroom two story home to a two bedroom condo, it was EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to me that my girls room ( they would share the master bedroom) was exactly what they wanted it to be. Each side looking totally different. I wanted it to feel like home to us right away. The day we moved in, I took off of work and I painted their room two different colors as they asked. I ordered their dresser, night stands, bed frames and mattresses. I put the bed frames together that day and had fresh sheets on their mattresses, hangers in their closet, drawers for their clothes, towels for them to shower, new and clean dishes in our cabinets and food in our refrigerator. This way, it felt like home, something they are familiar with.
Outside of these things, I had to make sure that during a time that I felt insure, my girls saw my strength and they felt MOST SECURE and this is what helped in their adjusting also. Them seeing that I did not and had no intentions on cracking under the pressure. I purposely left their bedroom furniture at our other home with their father so when they are there, they do not have a feeling of abandonment.
My security gave them confidence that everything is and will be just fine and that our new home is as safe and secure as the one that we left.
If I could give other mothers out there any advice, it would be not to wait to leave. When you know for sure that you have done all that you can do, be secure in yourself and move forward with your life. Your children are more resilient than you think. I would also encourage mothers to stand strong alone when you must and together when you have support. Children should not bear witness to all of our tears.
Should we challenge Mothers to a pay it forward revolution to spread joy to one another?
I absolutely believe 100% that mothers should pay it forward. It is because of my mother and mothers before me that I am able to stand as a testimony today. You can get through your situation and more importantly, YOU WILL get through it.
As mothers we are a community of our own and we share more than we think. Motherhood is a bond that can never be broken, yet shared for generations on. There have been several times that I have heard a child call “Mom” or “Mommy” and in a flash, I turn around or answer as if it were my own child. We all have. It’s the mother in us that triggers that instinct and I believe that we all share the responsibility. Please pay it forward. Help and support other mothers.
For all of you who would like to reach Krishtine, visit her at marriagedivorcelife.blogspot.com