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The Golden Handcuff Project

10/29/2014

For many years before my mother passed away in 2010, I asked her to create a little book of all of her sayings and her favorites in life. Her name was Enid. She loved to laugh, cook, eat, travel, garden, and really participate in life. Above all, she loved to help other people. By profession, my mother was a child psychiatrist, by life’s passion, my mother was a hero to children everywhere.

There is no secret that I was a smidge rebellious. Not the kind that skipped school, or did drugs, but the kind that was always starting some ridiculous petition, or taking an inconvenient stand on some issue I didn’t agree with. My mother and I, both Aquarius often locked horns …literally! And by virtue of the meeting of two great minds, many colloquialisms were used and created.

The Golden Handcuff Project. My mother always told me that I must unlock the golden handcuffs to truly be free and successful. I went through many renditions of this in my head, and didn’t really understand why ANYONE would remove anything made of gold! It was only after she passed and I had my own child, that I began to understand that it could only be ME allowing myself to be “handcuffed” to things that made me comfortable. Well, complacent really. I was naturally good at many things, charismatic, have always had many friends and enjoyed success in many areas. In love, life, and career.

It wasn’t until my life was thrown under a microscope and I was globally discussed, that I realized … I could have it all AND change the world. Sometimes you need to be uncomfortable to affect change in yourself. I realized that all the career, financial, and personal successes, were wonderful, but they were LIMITED. Simply by me being comfortable.

Now as I rebuild, I am stronger and better than ever. I am a better mother, friend, sister, aunt, daughter, girlfriend, HUMAN BEING, than I ever was before. Some times you gotta lose it all to gain more than you ever dreamed of. I unlocked my Golden Handcuffs. My wish is for you to do the same!

#ThankyouMom

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Control. Alt. Delete.

10/28/2014

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Control. Alt. Delete. The power of the “reboot.” A simple thought, and a much more challenging action. Whether it is getting your three keys and fingers synched, or synchronizing your mind, body, and spirit… everyone needs a reboot sometimes.

My journey is not one that has gone unfollowed by any part of the world. It seems as though my life, my choices, and my child have all been under scrutiny and rapid fire for five years. It’s ok. My son Nixon is the light of my life. Becoming a mother was the single best choice ever. I have grown and changed in ways I never imagined, nor known I needed.

As my story exploded, I faced many questions and many difficult choices. The most important choice being, how to protect my son. It is not something I could hide from, nor something I wanted Nixon to ever feel ashamed of, I was called to live in my truth. I was a successful marketing executive; I had come from an phenomenal family with parents who stayed married for forty-seven years until the passing of my mother, and two super achieving brothers, one hailing from Harvard Med and the other from Columbia Law School. I had carved my niche and reached soaring heights in my career. All of a sudden, the tabloids, the Internet, even the news, were ablaze with the story of me filing a paternity suit. Well, is it not the right thing to do? Should we not provide our children and our next generation with the power of identity, and the strength of unconditional love? Should we not hold others accountable for their behavior? I most certainly was being held accountable for mine. I believe that the most important tool we have is security of identity. To know whom we are. To whom we belong, and what our destiny is to be. Therefore, amidst the fervor and the massive amount of coverage, I rebooted my soul. Control. Alt. Delete.

Surely there had to be a be a way to make sense out of this whirlwind. There had to be a way to give this unexpected and epic battle meaning, for my family, my son, the larger picture, and ultimately, humanity. What I read about me, my son, and the Knowles family was inhumane. I guess I had never really paid attention to the content of the comments that net-surfers make. Now, they were aimed at all of us. Vicious, disgusting, and unnecessary. I heard the loud cry of the damaged and forgotten striking out to be heard. Self righteous and judgmental, I realized I was as much a part of “them” as ‘they’ were a part of me.

Control. Alt. Delete. Not about ME. Reboot. It is about US. All of us. We are responsible for each other. Not each other’s actions, but the well being of US as a race. The human race.

I dove into case law. I scoured every nook and cranny to find people who could understand my need for my child to have an identity… a voice. There were many. I met mothers and fathers, veterans and civilians, children and adults, every race and every creed crying out for their voices to be head. I discovered that under the cloak of an educated, “well-rounded,” and very civilized upbringing, we, collectively, had left behind so many.

I read statistics of single mothers, of homelessness, poverty, and lack of education. I witnessed and lived the statistics in every state office and every day of family court, chronicled in depth by the press and the public. I was horrified at the state of so many people in our country, my breath stolen by the silence of desperation. My mission became clear. Speak up! Stand up! Be the change! I began to listen and really hear the people that were presenting precious time and wisdom to me as gifts. Spiritual food and strength. I cried with them, laughed with them, and hugged them. I gave away all that I had left … everything, to anyone who needed it. I donated time. I donated food. I donated my spirit to help uplift those that were uplifting me. The more I gave, the more there was to be given. I found that if I shifted my consciousness to be involved in making the world a better place for my son, that he would be rich with identity and pride. That I will have demonstrated through my actions my commitment to my fight for him and for all children lost in the cracks. I could turn the other cheek every time because the only way I could fail was to quit.

Five years of silence. Two years of court leading to trial, countless death threats, and Google alerts. The death of my mother, loss of friends, staggering betrayal, and a world that had seemingly turned its back on me, my son, and everything we were taught to hold dear resulted in clarity, beauty, and freedom. For you see, once I “rebooted” my soul, there was no fear, no failure, and no judgment. I lived my truth in Technicolor. I hid nothing, and never spoke against anyone. I immediately forgave, and pressed through an incredibly long night. When the sun rose, I realized that I had helped nearly 1000 women and children. The time I had spent studying case law and the endless hours wondering why our judicial system was failing us. The time spent reflecting on how one human being could turn his back on his own flesh and blood helped me rise! It gave me humility and perspective to genuinely help others and the empathy to identify with their struggles. I knew to move forward I had to keep giving back. With love and passion, I defined myself as a woman, as a warrior, and as a mother. Nixon’s mother. Enid’s daughter. Humanity’s friend. I could not be more proud to look at the women I stand with today. They are all warriors. They are all great mothers. They are all someone’s daughters. I will never stop. Titles and salaries had defined my corporate career. Tabloids and headlines were outwardly defining my personal life. My choice to bring a life into this world, had been inspected, judged, and ruled upon by the world at large. I let go! I poured into affecting positive change wherever I went. I smiled and pushed my chin up; I was not lost, I was not afraid, and I was more sure than ever that my spirit had been defined by the faces I saw smiling back at me and the sisterhood I had foraged with the forgotten and the cast-out. I will never stand down… and if I am ever afraid…

Control. Alt. Delete. Reboot my soul!

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You Already Have It All

10/26/2014

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Motivation. It’s the perfect place to begin to manifest all your dreams. Before you begin your next perfect moment, I want you to understand that you already have it all! Right now … In this moment.

Sometimes it seems as though we “lose” something everyday. I lose my car keys and my iPhone a thousand times a day. Nixon looks at me, swoops a dramatic palm to his forehead and says, “Mommmyyyyyyyyyyy, where is your phone?” I feel frantic for a moment, mostly because I’m running late, and tearing through everything surrounding me. Cursing and blaming everyone and every thing I can think of. ANYONE! To jump to the end of the daily ridiculous shenanigans, I remember this small moment is a metaphor for living. The keys are in my bag, every time. Well, unless I’ve left them in the car. Hey, judge not friend, I remembered the kid and the dog.

My frazzled and accelerated life helps me to remember not to panic. An oxymoron I know. Here’s the thing. I have keys to my home. I have keys to my car. I have my son. We both have our sense of humor and our health. I have an incredible family and an electric existence. We have each other. I haven’t lost a thing. I already have it all.

When I decided to open my life to you, it was after 4 years of silence and judgment on a global scale. If you have ever chatted with me, you know that I always say, “Meh, I’m too stupid to be afraid, thats why I can always rise from any situation.” That’s only partly true. It’s true … I rise. It’s false that I’m not afraid. I feel fear all the time. If I didn’t feel my fear, I wouldn’t know how to be fearless. I choose to move without fear. Fear hinders the greatness that is already within me and within you. I will never stand down to fear. I will always choose hope.

I pushed through the ridicule, the pain, the betrayal, the loss of friends, family, and my comfortable identity. I challenged myself to tell my truth and to open my heart to the love that already existed but I was not choosing to recognize. I chose resilience. I chose love. I chose to be with you! I discovered what I had “lost” never really “was”, and I was inspired to acknowledge the abundance that exists in my life. I already have it all.

Friend, while we critique ourselves every day and find fault with everything about ourselves, we must realize that we are right where we are supposed to be and everything we need to fulfill our destiny is already within us. Pushing through the fear, I choose love over bitterness and despair. Being harsh or hyper-critical on oneself, creates inner anguish. We then communicate from a painful place. No need to do that to yourself. Change the paradigm and your inner dialogue to one of love.

To write about myself publicly or to connect with people around the world was terrifying. Yet, there you were. You greeted me with open hearts, open minds, and boundless love. You exist. You carry me through each day. I had to let go and open my heart, face my fear and stop believing there was something wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. I challenge you to look at yourself honestly and lovingly. See yourself the way I see you. See the perfect human YOU. The YOU that the universe sees. Love your self the way the universe loves you. Compassionately and infinitely. Constantly renewed. Constantly forgiving.

We want MORE. We want BETTER. We want THINGS. We want MONEY. We want LOVE. We want to be accepted, simply for the loving being we are. We already have what we need for a perfect life. Once you understand and embrace that, you will see the complete and perfect you I see. You will manifest infinitely as, you are living in the present with purity of intention and honesty. You will know to give more than you take. You’ll be surprised to all the ways love shows up. You’ll be surprised how quickly that love turns to opportunity for change. You’ll be surprised how quickly your shift in perspective allows you to access an infinite pool of resources to live your authentic, fulfilled life, and assist your dream quest. If self-improvement means there is something wrong with you, then take a deep breath and let the essence of your perfect being love your insecure self. You already have it all.

I’ve met so many wonderful people around the world that encourage me every day. People that understand loving me, means my child’s life is better, and they can then send me as a warrior for them into the world to affect change. One person I met was a bit nervous about sharing a picture of his or herself in self-realized fear that I may judge it to be ugly. Never. I receive all of the love you are generous enough to share and I see each person for whom they show up to be. Sending kind words, love, encouragement, and making an effort to support others, makes you nothing short of beautiful!

Open your heart to the love that exists, and see yourself as the complete, beautiful, loved, and perfectly flawed being you are. You cannot think your way through life or think your way through a situation. You must LIVE your way through life. What ever challenges come your way, know that you already have all the resources and support to get through it.

Step into your authentic self. Step into your excellence. Step into the love that is waiting for you. I am proud of you. I support you. I am here when you need me. Thank you for giving me the same. I receive all with open arms and return it with unconditional love. You already have it all!

by MCCMom Motivating Other Mothers in AlexSandra, Walk with me Tags: #alexsandrawright #empower #leadership #innerpeace, #family, #knowles, #letitgo, #letitgo #momsrule #motherandson #motherslove #friendship, #love #compassion #acceptance, #manifest, #mommy #Nixon #nixonday, #motivate, #motivatingothermoms, #NixonNow, #NixonsTheOne, #positivevibrations, #singlemoms

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The Present is Our Gift

10/26/2014

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Friends, I’m so glad you decided to share this sentiment and this moment with me. I am ever so appreciative of all the support Nixon and I receive from around the globe and I never want to miss a positive note or let someone go un-thanked. I begin from a place of gratitude and love. Thank you!

That said, it isn’t always easy to stay in the present. My head gets clouded with thoughts of “what’s next…” and
“I should’ve…”. Each day as we work toward a more conscious self, we become more aware of the roads we have traveled, where we are, and of course, where we are going. I shake it off and remember that it is only this moment that counts, and my choice to love, and to give, are ever present, as the current moment is always … well … current.

Living in that realization, I know I can create a string of perfect moments, that together, in essence create a powerful and meaningful existence. An existence without fear or regret, an existence that constantly moves forward and actively participates in helping the greater good of me, my family and “us” as a collective. This is when I am at my best. It is when you are at your best as well. Don’t let darkness cloud the light that you already are. Focus on the positive messages consistently showing themselves to you. The energy of goodness is always around, the challenge is to constantly choose goodness.

Each day, as I give more of myself by living in my truth and supporting others (remember reciprocity is important), I am moved by the generosity and loving spirits that support me and give me the encouragement to let my voice be heard. From the effervescent Barry Jordan, Jr., who has penned fantastic children’s books “Grandma Can I Get A Dog” and “Mom! What’s That,” to my folks “across the pond” in the UK that stand strong with Nixon and I in the media. As I remain open, the more love envelops me. I mustn’t forget my Canadian family, I am so proud to have dual citizenship. Canadians are open and loyal. I find respite there and in the hearts of the people who live in my sister country.

It is that love and support that enables me to continue to reach out and help others. My challenges are far from over, and Nixon’s are just beginning. I repeat to myself over and over “To move forward, keep giving back”. I have bad days, I have sad days, there are days I just want to cry and ponder the past or wonder about the future. I know to be kind to myself, honoring my journey … honoring my spirit. I am doing the best I can and I am proud to be who I am. My son lives in a strange and alternate universe and my heart aches for him to have a normal existence, however, we all live a strange existence and we are all trying to find our place. We are all striving to find a place of comfort and acceptance within our day to day lives, which leads us to rue the past or ponder the future. No one person is any better nor different, than any other person. Some journeys are simply just more visible. Shedding fear and embracing courage, we can all affect change and make things better for those around us and ourselves at the same time. Accountability, compassion, and an open heart are the only components that are able to differentiate the outcomes

That is exactly why the present is a gift. It is given and renewed over and over. The present is the continuum that is everlasting and it is the only true space where we can love, create, sing, dance, manifest and meditate. It is the present that makes us ever powerful, it is the present that is already full of the electric energy lighting the path for us to see our way forward in the exact way we are meant to. The gift of “the present” cannot be re-gifted, nor recreated. It is something we must embrace now.

I am so proud of you and know you are loved. You are not called to be perfect, you are only called to “BE”. You are more than enough, you are powerful and strong, you are beautiful, and you are unique. There is no comparison, there is no grass that is greener. Whether you are looking back or looking forward, stop to unwrap the gift that is eternally given to you … the present.

by MCCMom Motivating Other Mothers in AlexSandra, Walk with me Tags: #alexsandrawright #empower #leadership #innerpeace, #positivevibrations, motivate let it go #mom #motivatingothermothers

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The Golden Handcuff Project

Control. Alt. Delete.

You Already Have It All

The Present is Our Gift

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